More Than My Own Life
by Christie-chan
Summary: When a newborn vampire attacks Renesme and Jacob in a busy street, their only chance to save themselves and the watchful crowds is to aversely reveal what they are. When the law of secrecy is broken, the Volturi assemble to silence the two eternally.
1. Chapter 1

Warning: Breaking Dawn spoilers. This story takes places _after_ the events in the last novel.

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Chapter One

Welcoming Home

"NESSIE!" A VOICE CALLED ME from behind. I didn't have to think twice about who it was. There was only one person who said my name with such enthusiasm and excitement for no apparent reason. I couldn't help but smile as I turned around and I really couldn't help smiling even wider when I saw his expression. Two dark eyes gleamed at me with thick, black eyebrows leaned over top. His eyes were partially squinted in his wide smile which I could have sworn reached from one ear to the other. He flaunted his bright white teeth unintentionally, sincerely caught up in the glee of the moment.

"Jake!" I called back in a mocking tone. I squinted my eyes shut with exaggeration and bared my teeth in an attempted super-wide smile. Jake simply scoffed and rolled his eyes, too excited to let the blatant affront get to him. Instead, he bolted forward and lifted me up between his two giant arms. My face was smothered in his hard chest and my legs fell loosely at the opposite end of his impossibly strong hold.

"H-Hey, take it easy," I said, my words a little chopped up from laughter and muffled from his enormous muscles. He ignored me—sincerely or on purpose, I wasn't sure—and held me there for a second or so more. He was exactly like he always had been, a loving and caring brother.

"Jake, really, I can't breathe," I whined, still laughing. This time he chose to respond to my untroubled protests and boosted me up higher so I could see his face. Two massy palms were pressed against my tiny waist and the heat radiated through me. The warm feeling was welcomed in the midst of near-freezing air. I stared into his dusky eyes and was reminded of the look a puppy makes when you get home from a long day at work. In actuality, you weren't gone very long at all, but when you get home to see those eyes and that face staring at you with such adoration just to see you again, it made you wish you never left in the first place. My reaction was still typical.

"Oh, don't give me that look," I rolled my eyes. "It was only five days." I wouldn't say it, but I really missed the puppy, too.

"I know," he answered calmly and gave me one more hug before setting me back on my feet. I was reluctant to let go; his heated embrace was unbelievably soothing. The soles of my shoes made a soft thud on the icy pavement and a tiny "crunch" as the small pieces of salt were cracked under my weight. It seemed sort of silly for a house of vampires to leave salt on the driveway because none of us would ever get close to slipping. Then again, it was probably just for appearances. I had a feeling it was something Grandpa Charlie would have insisted on, maybe even done himself. I warily looked over my shoulder at the frost-incrusted grass. A part of me wished I hadn't come back at all to the bitter cold. I was just getting used to the damp, warm air of the Amazon rainforests.

"How was your trip?" he asked, directing his voice behind me to my parents, who were busy unloading the car. Or, rather, busy for two seconds as they hoisted the three suitcases out of the trunk in one fluid motion.

"Wonderful," Mom replied smiling, too. "Zafrina was more excited to have us than Nessie was to be there." I could see Jake give a struggled grin in response. His deep-rooted hate for vampires still hadn't faded away. Sometimes I wondered if it ever would.

"They're grateful to you," Dad said. He'd probably read a discourteous thought of Jake's. "They credit their lives to you and the pack." Jacob's fake smile grew a little more real. He was warming up to us, but it was as slow as ever. The subject was still uncomfortable for him and I could see it in his expression.

"It's cold. Let's go inside," I offered, eager to get Jake's mind on something else. He instantly turned to me and then to the door, motioning for me to go first. My parents were close behind, carrying our luggage like it weighed nothing more than a small pillow. My suitcase was considerably larger than the rest, almost as big as my parents' suitcases put together. As much as I'd tried to cram all my belongings into something smaller, it never would have worked. I was one of the few who indulged Aunt Alice in her obsession of spoiling everyone with nice clothes. Naturally, she took full advantage of that. I had more pieces of clothing than I knew what to do with, more shoes than I could count and a boutique of accessories I couldn't distinguish apart. Even though it was difficult to keep up with so many belongings, I loved spending time with my Aunt so much that I went along with it. It wasn't so bad and I was at least picking up on it quickly. Maybe when I stopped growing, she'd let me stick with an outfit longer than two weeks. Somehow, I doubted it.

When we walked through the doorway I was hit by a wave of heated air. I was always more comfortable when my words didn't turn into tiny clouds of condensed air in front of me. The wave of heat was immediately followed by a wave of hellos and welcome homes from everyone inside. I could pick out each and every voice from the other, following their words and figuring out where they were when they spoke. Aunt Alice was closest, and that brought a grin to my face. Before any more time could pass, she was in front of me with wide open arms. I instantly jumped into them and squeezed her as tight as she did me. My feet didn't reach the ground as she held me—even Alice was taller than I was. Unfortunately, I'd probably never pass her height. I was petite and small, destined to be that way for the rest of my existence. I'd only been alive almost six years, after all. I linked my legs around her and sat like a child in her arms. She twirled in a tiny circle and spun me around with her. "Nessie, Nessie, Nessie!" she crooned. I inhaled deeply, taking in her sweet scent and then happily sighed. With my arms wrapped around her neck, I quietly sent her some of the most frequent thoughts I'd had while I was away.

She smiled and kissed my cheek. "I missed you, too." I could feel her spiky hair against the side of my face and her cool skin against mine. It was exactly how I had always known her.

"I thought you weren't coming back until late tonight," I could hear Jasper say as he made his way down the stairs. I popped my head over Alice's shoulder and rested my chin there. "It's only five. Rosalie would have wanted to be here when you did." I asked Alice a silent question.

"Yup, hunting," she replied. I pouted slightly, just as anxious to see them. Alice caught my disappointment and immediately added "they'll be home soon, but I really want to hear about your trip." She placed me back on my feet and took a seat on the couch, motioning for me to sit next to her. Both my Grandad and Grandma appeared in the room, giving my parents welcoming hugs and asking how the flight was. They would have done the same to me if Alice hadn't have been hogging me. I plopped myself down on the couch and everyone seemed to follow suit, crowding around my parents and me to hear the stories. We sat mostly for Jacob's sake; standing or sitting made no difference to the vampires.

My dad's parents were particularly interested in how the entire Amazon coven was doing and what they'd been up to since the last time they'd been together five years ago. Of course, they were even more interested in learning about the coven's way of life and how it differed from ours. Although I was thoroughly interested in it, too, there were things I was absolutely dying to say.

Or, rather, show.

"Zafrina showed me so much," I said to Jake, knowing he'd be uninterested in the vampires. "It was like traveling the world in a matter of minutes. You have to see!" Without waiting for him to answer me, I reached up and pressed my hand to the side of his face. My ivory skin was looked even paler compared his dark, olive complexion. Once we had contact, I instantly recalled the scenes Zafrina had showed me down to every last detail.

I started with the images she had shown me. She had taken me through nearly every place she'd ever been, and then proceeded to places she could picture herself. Each was a high-definition image, taking into account every single detail that made the picture unique. Most of the scenes were from South America, ranging from the ancient ruins to the rainforests to as far as the icy caps in the far southern regions. I flipped through each picture like a slideshow, giving him just enough time to take in the image before I moved to the next one.

Sharing thoughts and feelings had become a second nature to me, as effortless as breathing. What I once had to intently concentrate on now came with ease. I was even able to perfect the action by adding my own bits and pieces to the images to make it that much more vivid, which is why I saved my own experiences for last.

When I showed him what I had seen myself, I could add in the sensations that went with it. I recalled the smell of air, earthy and thick with humidity. I thought about the sound of the freshwater falls in the middle of the green jungles, accompanied by the songs of the birds and the rustle of the brush on the forest floor. My mind drifted through the feeling of warm, damp air on my skin and the cool ground beneath my feet. I closed my eyes and placed myself right back to that spot, exactly as I had remembered it.

When I was finished, I pulled my hand away and waited for his reaction. Jake slowly opened his eyes to look at me with disbelief. I just grinned.

"Nessie," he gasped. "That was unbelievable!" Out of the corners of my eyes, I could see everyone turn towards me, eager to know what Jake was talking about. We were too caught up in the moment to pay much attention to them. "Show me again?" he asked eagerly. I willingly complied. Before we could get through the sequence again, I was bombarded with more requests.

"Aw, Nessie, show me!" Aunt Alice chimed. I thought to Jake a quick apology before turning to put my hand to Alice's face. I couldn't help but wondering if they were more interested in the actual images I showed them or the method of presentation itself. Regardless, I found myself going through each member of the family and giving them each my own virtual tour. I gave each of them the precise detail I had given Jake, lingering on the details that I thought each would like best. For Alice, I paid attention most to the scenery and tarried on the view from the top of canopies over the rainforest. When I was showing Carlisle, I showed mostly the local tribes and the details on how they lived their lives and for Esme, I paid a deep attention to the wildlife. It was one of my favorite parts, too, and even I enjoyed recalling it so lucidly.

We sat around talking for a long time, still discussing the trip and even planning the next one. By that point, we had four more who wanted to accompany us. I could see the sparkle in Alice's eyes at the idea of going with us. At least two hours into our conversation, a long yawn escaped my mouth. Unfortunately, it didn't go unnoticed.

"It's been a really long day," I explained to everyone before they could comment. It was those odd, human quirks that I absolutely hated. "I think I'm going to head in early. Good night." As I stood, Jake stood with me.

"I'll walk you there," he said, implying the walk from the Cullen's to house to the cottage my parents had further into the woods. "Charlie invited my father and I to dinner, I'm already late." We were whisked away with loving good nights and good byes but before we could even make it out the door, they had continued right away with their previous conversation. I couldn't blame them, it was all extremely intriguing.

"What's the rest of the pack up to?" I asked casually as we made our way through the woods. My breath materialized into a puff of smoke in front of me. It felt like the temperature had dropped twice as low in the past couple of hours. Neither of us was in a hurry, so we walked slowly at an almost human pace. The only thing that really motivated us was to get out of the cold. Our footsteps were nearly synchronized, though it was hard to tell. They were so silent that the rustle the wind made in the trees was loud enough to drown out the sounds.

"Taking it easy, I'm sure," he laughed. "Everything's been so calm lately that we're all bored out of our minds."

"You all just need to get out more," I said curtly. He just laughed in response. By that point, we reached our destination and were standing on the stone patio to my parent's own little, private home. I jiggled the door knob and pushed the creaky door forward but just a crack. I didn't want any of that precious hot air to leak out.

"Well it's great to have you home," he said as he gave me one last brief hug. He ruffled my hair on the top of my head and patted my shoulder before heading back into the chilled forest. "'Night, Nessie."

"'Night," I called after him. For the longest moment, I stood there on the patio, watching my honorary older brother walk back through the forest. The brother who had unconditionally loved me my entire life, the brother who made me feel like everything about me was perfect. I had always loved him in return—it was hard not to.

Before I had any more time to dwell on that thought, a cold shiver ran down my back and immediately disrupted my train of thought. I hurried inside to envelop myself in the warm air, eager to shake off the cold chill. There was a lurking feeling that the tremble was caused by something more than frozen air. I shook the feeling off immediately. I was utterly exhausted both from the long day of traveling and the mental exhaustion from reliving it for each family member. The call to curl up in my bed was too great to ignore.

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Okay. So this chapter was a bit boring, but I had to start somewhere. I'm a sucker for fluff and thrills, so I can promise some more action (…in both senses of the word) later in the story. Thanks for reading!

P.S. I'm disclaiming Twilight and all that jazz. : kthanksbye nd seeyarealsoon


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Surprise

THE COTTAGE WAS EXACTLY how I'd remembered it; modest, comforting and homey. As I stepped into the house, I realized how much I'd missed the classic log cabin walls and stone fireplace. It was nothing short of immensely comforting, especially on cold days. I absolutely loved to curl up by the fire under a blanket and fall asleep. My parents, along with the rest of my family, had taken a lot of time to furnish the home to fit my needs in particular. A heating and air conditioning system was installed with the thermostat in my room. They even threw in a ceiling fan although I rarely used it. Parts of the wooden floors had been covered with gentle rugs that made for welcoming ground for bare feet on winter mornings. Alice had insisted on building me a full bathroom and went to the lengths to design and decorate it herself.

"Don't get carried away," I told her. "It has to match the rest of the house which is _simple _and _modest_." I put an extra emphasis on those words, knowing that I'd have to say it at least ten more times before she'd consider it. "You can't make the bathroom more ostentatious than the house." Eventually we came to a "compromise" which stated she wasn't allowed to make the bathroom bigger than my room. It was as much as I could get from her and I took it. I ended up with a separate shower and bath tub that was big enough to fit at least three people, a sink and a toilet that was separated from the rest of the room by a doorway and a decorative shower curtain and a full mirror the size of a small wall. She was kind enough to use subtle, earthy colors that would match the rest of the house and the surrounding woods. By some method I couldn't understand, it all matched and flowed like a photograph from a catalogue. In hindsight, I should have focused more on restraining my aunt from going crazy with my closet instead of my bathroom. Aunt Alice enjoyed spoiling me so much that it was hard to tell her I didn't need all the gifts, so I often let it slide. Someday, I'd repay all the favors.

Apart from the details of the house, the place was a little difficult to define. It was no more or less my home than the house the rest of the Cullen family stayed. I spent equal amounts of my day at either house, if not more at the larger one. When I talked, the only difference I made in referring to the houses was that the large house was simply "home" and the cottage was "my home." There was a room and bed for me in both, but I preferred sleeping in the cottage. As much as the vampire part of me was predominating, the little human habits were still there. I often despised them, thinking that they made me awkward and irritating. I absolutely refused to use the restroom in my family's house because, despite how large it was, I knew their keen ears would pick up every sound made inside those walls. The little things like taking a shower, using the bathroom and even blowing my nose made me feel so ostracized from everyone else. It was like they were subtle reminders of how different I was from the rest of my family, so I saved them all for the cottage.

Once I warmed up, I pulled myself into a pair of sweatpants and a blousy t-shirt for the night and crawled into bed. The fact that Mom and Dad hadn't walked in made me think they were staying at the other house to give me a silent night's rest. I gently thanked them for it before my thoughts were lost into a deep slumber.

My dreams had shifted from one random image to another, all blurred and indecipherable from the rest. There seemed to be one thing in common in each dream, a motif that drifted from one scene to the next. A dark cloud hung in the background, lurking just enough to be visible but not too noticeable. Whatever its purpose, it was easy to ignore and I didn't think twice about it. I woke up to someone knocking at my bedroom door and promptly forgot all I'd dreamt about.

"Nessie," I heard my mother say as she stepped through the door. I groggily sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I cursed myself for sleeping so long; it left me feeling half-dead. I mumbled something of a "yes" and looked up to meet her gaze. She warmly smiled at me, probably humored in my sluggish appearance.

"Glad to see you're up," she teased lightly. I yawned in response. "Jake's over at the house. He wants to know if you want to go to La Push today." Slowly, I turned my head to the digital alarm clock on the nightstand. The bright red numbers glared a "2:37" at me. I blinked to make sure I had it right—I couldn't believe I slept in that late.

"What's happening in La Push?" I asked, but the last word was caught off by another yawn. I wished the vampire part of me would have taken care of that.

"He didn't say," she answered with a shrug. "But whatever it is, he seems pretty excited about it." I sighed deeply and couldn't help but smile. It was Jake. I could picture his puppy face with sparkling eyes and a wide grin.

"Kay. Tell him I'll be there in a little bit?" I said as I dragged my feet out of bed. A quick shower and I'd shake off the last of the sleepiness. My mom nodded and promptly left to go back to the house. Mom understood my need of privacy for human moments more than anyone else. This is partly because she was my ever-caring mother and mostly because she had recently been human and remembered the feeling exactly.

I had to admit, it wasn't quite as bad as I always made it seem. Although the human habits were horribly annoying, the skill and agility of being half vampire enabled me to get through them with a little more ease. I flashed through a shower, dried and dressed in a matter of ten minutes. A good portion of it wasn't even my doing. My naturally curly brown hair seemed to style itself and every outfit had been assembled by Alice. Today it was a white sweater softer than anything I had with a pleaded skirt, leggings and snow boots that were more for show than use. Compared to my other options, this was very simple. I slid a pea coat over top and hurried out the door. The sooner I was done, the better; I didn't like to keep people waiting for me.

When I got to the house, Jake was waiting for me in the foyer. I could hear the rest of the family up and about, but before I could listen any further, Jake bolted to his feet and grabbed my hand. I would have been taken back by the rushed movements, but the smile on his face told me otherwise.

"Quick!" he laughed as he tugged me out the door. I fumbled and looked around the room, entirely confused. "Come on, Nessie! Run!" Without hesitating, he pulled me out the door and raced to the driveway.

"Don't you _dare_, you mutt," I heard Aunt Rose hiss from inside the house. "Bring her back." At that instant, I realized what was happening. As much as I wanted to see my aunt, too, I couldn't help laughing. A stunt like this was just _screaming _Jake. They were always looking for ways to spite one another but fortunately, they were always harmless pranks and jokes. Jake jumped onto the motorcycle that was parked on the driveway, pulling me on behind him. Without missing a beat, he plopped a helmet over my head and turned the key in the ignition. Over my shoulder I could see her silhouette in the doorway and she looked as angry as ever. One of the only things she hated more than Jacob was seeing me on his motorcycle.

I shot her an apologetic smile as Jake kicked back the stand and revved the engine. "Sorry, Aunt Rose! I'll tell you all about the trip when I get back. I love you!"

The only way we could get away with a motorcycle in mid-October was because Jake was a walking furnace. No matter the temperature outside, he could keep me at a toasty 90 degrees. And with his insane driving—which was not so insane compared to the way the rest of my family drove—we could make the 16 mile drive in less than ten minutes. We came to a stop at the parking lot of La Push's first beach; I knew it from the island that stood tall just off the coast. It was my favorite beach, not only because of the island but because of all the driftwood on the shore. Whenever we spent a lot of time there, a bonfire was involved. The colors the salt made in the fire was nothing short of amazing.

In the distance, I could see at least half a dozen tables accompanied by countless beach chairs. Spots of bright colors lined the tables and a few of the chairs, but the wind from the ocean pushed them all over the place. _Balloons?_ I couldn't help thinking. There was a bonfire pit nearby, surrounded by large logs to make even more seats available. Two tall figures moved about, picking up nearby driftwood and piling it in the pit. I could hear conversation and it only took a second for me to identify Quil and Embry. After an instant to think it all over, I raised my hand to the back of Jake's neck.

_Whose birthday is it? _I asked. He grinned again. For a brief moment I contemplated taking count of these repeated, smug smirks. But as I thought my question over, I realized there was really only one person on the reserve that would want me at their party.

"It was Leah's idea," he said, still smiling. "But it's a surprise. She's been dragging Seth around Port Angeles all day to distract him." _Port Angeles?_ _Isn't that a bit far? _I was shocked they'd go three hours out just to keep someone from a surprise birthday party.

"Leah's idea, too," he shrugged. "It's been really boring around here—I think they actually wanted to go." Behind me, I could hear two more cars pull into the lot and drag to a stop over the sand-covered pavement. I turned to see more guests arrive, stepping out with large, colorfully wrapped presents.

_Jake, I don't have a gift_ I thought, my hand still on his neck.

"Don't worry about it," he assured me as we stepped off the bike and made our way toward the party under construction. "What I got him has your name on the tag, too." I rolled my eyes. _Thanks_.

Although we were there early to help, I spent most of my time meeting the La Push folks I hadn't recognized. This was the dangerous thing about my visiting the reserve. The pack, including the council, knew all about me and my family. If they didn't, they definitely would have questioned how I grew to be almost an adult in six years. It wasn't until recently that I was able to get to know people who weren't in on the secret. By this point, I'd only grow a tiny bit more and I could pass as a human. To anyone oblivious to my family's secret, I'd just be a girl with a slight glow to her and perfect teeth.

I had to admit that it was nice to meet people that didn't know about my background. I could always detect a slight resentment from some of the pack. It was a weird feeling; almost as though they liked _who _I was, just not _what _I was. Jake made it clear soon after my birth that I'd be allowed on the La Push territory. That motion took a bit of his birth-given right to power. I was the only exception to the treaty—most of the pack threw a fit when it was suggested that the rule be taken away altogether. I knew my human half made a difference, but I didn't see why that made me such an exception. Why Jake put up such a fight for me was a mystery. I had a feeling he did it for my mother's sake, who desperately wanted me to have a life as normal as possible. Jake claimed it was because he was my brother, so to speak, and it was his job to stick up for me. I always took that answer willingly. I loved him on the same level I loved my parents—entirely and unconditionally. Defining that love, however, was becoming increasingly difficult.

Nearly two hours after our arrival, people started to get a little antsy. They'd all arrived for a party that was an hour late. The sun was nearly gone so the bonfire had been reluctantly started. As each minute grew darker, so did the mood of the party. I subtly reached up to touch Jake's face again. _What's going on? Why isn't Seth here?_ He was starting to look worried and it made me uncomfortable. He looked around, exchanging glances with the rest of the pack. I saw Sam motion for Jake from across the decorated area. Instinctively, I followed Jake when he moved, but he gently held out an arm to stop me. With an apologetic smile and affectionate pat on the shoulder, he walked away. I stood awkwardly at the wrong end of the crowd of people, desperately trying to listen over all the chatter, the waves and the crackle of the fire. After a moment passed, I heaved a defeated sigh. I could see Sam look up to me twice during the conversation and I winced internally. Sue Clearwater and Jake's dad joined in on the conversation and I shifted my weight uneasily. A horrible idea that this somehow involved me was hanging over my head. Before I could think about it any further, something in my coat pocket buzzed.

In one fluid motion, I whipped out the cell phone and immediately pressed it to my ear. The distraction was more than welcomed.

"Hello?" I asked, though I had already recognized the number.

"Nessie!" I heard Alice demand on the other end. "You're in La Push, right?"

"Yeah, for Seth's surprise party, why?" My words came out quickly, as though the sooner I answered, the sooner she could explain herself.

"And everyone's okay?" she continued to question.

"Well, no one knows where Seth and Leah are at the moment but I—"

"Damn it. Hasn't anyone tried to call them?"

"Well, maybe, I don't know," I answered weakly, hating myself for not being in that conversation. "Billy, Jake, Sam and Sue are talking about it, but they wouldn't—"

"Nessie!" Sam shouted at me from across the beach. The party crowd fell silent at his voice. "Who is that? Alice?"

"Yes, why—" Before I could finish, he raced toward me and took the phone from my hands. The fact that I couldn't get out a complete sentence was starting to irritate me.

"Alice, have you seen anything?" he asked eagerly. At least this time, I would be there for the conversation.

"Two people just outside Port Angeles died, it's all over the news" I could hear Alice's voice through the ear piece. "It's not anyone we know, but we think they were killed by a vampire. Do Seth and Leah know anything?"

"No, we can't get a hold of them. Damn kids didn't bring a phone," he cursed. My eyes widened at the word. I'd never heard him curse, especially at members of the pack. The situation must've been more severe than I thought.

As if on cue, a car pulled up into the parking lot. The crowd was so quiet I could nearly hear every grain of sand that was run over as it pulled to a stop. The only sound was from Sam, who whispered a goodbye to Alice and clicked the phone shut. Seth and Leah both stepped out at the same time but with entirely serious faces. They both immediately looked to Sam and Jake, and then to me with lightning speed. Leah's eyes bore into mine with a new intensity I'd never seen. Such a vivid combination of fear and anger was almost impressive. Although Seth, too, had the obvious mix of fear in his eyes, they had something else added in, something that looked like a heavy concern. The moment seemed to last an eternity.

Suddenly, an eruption of shouts came from behind us, accompanied by cheers, laughs and party poppers. I was so caught up in our own silent conversation that I wasn't even certain of what they said. Fortunately, the guest of honor snapped out of his trance soon enough to properly react to the waiting crowd.

He politely went through an onslaught of hellos and happy-birthdays and how-are-you-doings, each time hiding the expression I'd seen before. Our small group impatiently waited for him to get through it all and talk to us. To our own dismay, we had to wait. The less alarm we caused—hopefully none—the better.

Finally, the two approached, speechless and worrisome. As much as I tried to avert my eyes, that piercing gaze from Leah was inevitable. Gently, I looked up to Seth and bit my lip.

"Surprise."

So there you have it--the second chapter! Thankfully, it's a little less boring than the first. Oh, and reviews are _always_ super fantastically greatly appreciated. They encourage me to write another chapter sooner. ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Overactive Imagination

IT FELT AS THOUGH all the eyes of the entire party were on us. The air was thick enough to be cut with a knife and everyone else must have noticed. I looked to meet Sam's eyes but they were glued to the ground in deep thought. Hopeful for some kind of response, I looked to Leah. I should have known that was a mistake. Leah's dusky brown eyes felt as though they were piercing holes into mine. I winced. I couldn't be sure if whatever happened was my fault but I was starting to feel horribly guilty anyway. This time desperate for a good response, I looked to Seth. His eyes seemed particularly softer compared to Leah's and when he caught my expression, he offered a gentle, sympathetic smile. Seth just seemed happy that everyone was okay, making me wish this happened any day _but _his birthday.

I suddenly became aware that everyone was waiting for Seth to respond. Whether they expected him to scream, laugh or even cry I wasn't sure. This entire event was about him, after all, and although we were all dying to talk about what had happened, we couldn't. There were only a handful of people there who could know and way too many who couldn't. Whatever we had to say could wait until we were alone.

"Well happy birthday, Seth," Jake said finally as he reached out and gave him a hard pat on the shoulder. The thick air seemed to lift suddenly. We all followed suit, bombarding Seth with more wishes for a happy birthday. Even though he was 19, he looked as though he was at least 21 years old. He was tall and muscular, towering at almost a foot over me. He could attribute that to the wolf in him.

Jake was kind enough to casually pull Seth back to the rest of the crowd to break up to the tension. I looked back to Sam and held out my hand expectantly.

"Sorry, Nessie," he said with an apologetic laugh. I couldn't be mad; he did it out of concern for Seth and Leah.

"I'm going to call her back and figure out what they know," I told him, knowing he'd take some comfort in that. None of us wanted to wait until the party was over to solve it all. "You'll know everything as soon as I do."

"Thanks," he answered softly and gave me a weak smile. Someone called him back over to the crowd and he reluctantly left. I could feel someone give me a cold look and I heaved a deep sigh. Leah's "this-is-all-Nessie's-fault" mood must have been rubbing off on people. Fortunately for me, everyone quickly ignored me and turned back to Seth so I'd be able to make this phone call without anyone overhearing. But just to be safe, I stepped away far enough so that the waves against the sand would drown out my conversation. I raced my fingers over the phone's surface and redialed Alice's number at a speed I wasn't sure the phone could match. Less than a second into the first ring, she answered.

"Sam?" she asked expectantly.

"Close," I answered sarcastically. "Nessie."

"Good." Alice sounded happier to be talking to me. "How are Seth and Leah?"

"I haven't really had a chance to talk to them." I looked over my shoulder and back to the party. Seth was in the center of a group of friends, laughing and joking like nothing ever happened. "But they seem just fine."

"I didn't mean to cause such a panic," Alice regretted.

"What did you see?" I asked before she could go on.

"Nothing."

"Really, Alice. What did you see?"

"Nothing. Literally, nothing," she explained. "I was trying to see but it all sort of vanished."

"What do you mean 'vanished?'"

"It could be nothing. Half the time when I try to look for you or Jake—or any of the wolves for that matter—I don't see anything. But I had something for a moment—I felt another presence. Like another vampire, but I couldn't be sure. Suddenly it all just vanished and I couldn't see a thing, like I do with you," she tried to explain. Her sentences were choppy, incomplete and unlike Alice. It was starting to make me worry.

"So what does that mean?" I asked again.

"I'm not sure, it's too vague to be able to tell." I could hear Alice's disappointment in herself through her voice. "I had the vision just after the news special on the two murder victims near Port Angeles so we all sort of jumped to the wrong conclusions."

"It's alright," I tried to console her. "You were just looking out for us."

"Thanks, Ness," Alice said with just slightly more relief than she had before. "So tell Sam not to worry and that I'm sorry."

"'Kay. Bye, Alice."

"Bye," she said and I clicked the phone shut. Immediately I looked to Sam who was talking with friends and gradually being pulled back into the party. The group he was with consisted of the few who blamed me for making the party awkward. I grimaced, contemplating the consequences of my going over there to pull Sam aside once more. Before I could even decide on a course of action, two large hands took me by the waist and hoisted me into the air.

"You're missing the party!" Jake teased, holding me high above the ground. I laughed, trying to squirm my way out of his grip. I was as strong as him—probably stronger—but I usually pretended that I wasn't for his sake.

"Jaaake," I whined, holding back laughter. "Let me down." Of course, his grip only grew tighter. I looked down at him with one raised eyebrow but he simply smiled in response. I glowered at him.

"Come on, Nessie," he said, lowering me down to his eye level. My feet were at least half a foot off the ground. "Seth and Leah are fine. They only caught the scent of the bloodsucker, and it was an old scent at that. Nothing happened, everything's okay." Jake stared right into my eyes as if trying to silently convey how sincere he was. I could almost catch a hint of distress, as though seeing me upset bothered him as much as it did me. I reached over to touch his face, cupping his cheek in my palm. Jake sort of leaned into the motion.

I went through everything Alice had told me, lingering on the fact that Jake and I had the possibility of being involved. Surprisingly, he didn't seem too concerned.

"See? Everything's alright," he said, this time with a little more confidence. With that, he kissed my forehead and placed me back on my feet.

"That attitude will be the death of you someday," I said sarcastically as I walked away. I heard a dramatic gasp behind me.

"And _that _attitude will be the death of you right now." All at once, he charged up behind me and lifted me up once more, this time like a fireman.

"Jake!" I yelped. "Come on, let me down!" With half my body flung over his shoulder, he took a couple steps into the water, the waves lightly crashing at his feet. The scent of saltwater flooded my nose but it wasn't as welcoming as it was in the summer. I could feel the cold from my place five feet off the ground.

"What are you doing?" I cried, beating my fists against his back. "Let me go!"

"Are you sure?" he asked, taking a few feet deeper off the shore. The icy water reached all the way up to his knees.

"You wouldn't dare," I scoffed. Even for someone with a heart rate as fast as mine, cold water was still cold water. I could have easily jumped off his shoulder and landed safely on shore, but I knew he wouldn't go as far to actually drop me.

"I think Blondie is rubbing off on you," Jake scowled, a clear resentment in his tone. "She's made you too uptight. You need to stop spending so much time around her."

"Yeah, yeah," I groaned, rolling my eyes. "Get me down already." Reluctantly, he stepped back over to dry sand and put me back on my feet. I brushed myself off like I'd just won a fight and looked to Jake, whose feet were still in the water.

"You're just jealous because I spend more time with her," I teased him. I could hear Jake pause in his steps.

"Hah," he sneered. "Why on earth would I be jealous of _that_?" Before he could laugh again, I bent over, grabbed a handful of wet sand and pelted it at the back of his head. The grains slowly trickled along his shirt and down his back. Very slowly, he turned around, glaring at me. In an appropriate, mature response, I stuck out my tongue and blew a raspberry at him. I could see Jake's chest expand as he took deep breaths. I warily took two steps back in fear of how he'd respond. Unfortunately, two steps weren't enough.

In one swift motion Jake leaned over, stuck his hands in the water and thrust a giant wave at me. Of course, I easily dove out of the way, but the motion alone made me angry.

"Hey!" I yelped and in one blur of movement, I hurled another sand ball at him. This one hit him square in the chest. Almost immediately, he charged after me with his feet sloshing through the shallow waves. He sent a giant splash of water with each step so by the time he was a foot away from me, I was drenched. I had missed the worst of it, but that wasn't enough.

"Jacob Black," I said, this time taking every bit of playfulness out of my voice. My tone was so cold it even caught me by surprise, but I was determined to keep the charade going. "What am I supposed to say to Alice when I come home with her clothes entirely ruined, hmm? And then what to Rose when she finds out I've been running around _soaking _wet?" He matched my icy stare and took the last step forward. We were close enough to feel each other's breath and hear our fluttering heart beats. The corner of his lips curled in the smallest smile.

"You tell Rose," he began, speaking slowly "that she can kiss my—" Before he could even come close to getting that last word out, I sprung forward with a force that I didn't use often. Jake was caught off-guard and staggered backwards a second before losing what was left of his balance. He crashed into the water with a splash louder than the waves but I didn't bother to back away to keep from getting wet—it was worth it just to watch. His attempts to catch himself were spastic at best and only made his situation worse. Laughter erupted from my mouth and I nearly buckled over from it all. When it finally sunk in what had happened, he simply sat up, waist-deep in the water and took a deep breath. His black hair was plastered to his face in clumps and his shirt nearly fell off his shoulder from the weight of the water. I could only laugh harder.

"You look like a drowned puppy," I giggled. A wave crashed against his back and he just glared at me. Slowly, the guilt of what I'd done began to settle.

"Aw, come on. Here." I reached my hand out and offered to help him up. He reluctantly took my hand in his strong grip and pulled himself to his feet again. The water dripped off of him in buckets. Over all, my plan was well-executed, but lacked in foresight. That familiar white grin stretched across Jake's face as he took a tighter hold on my hand. With a weak laugh, I tried to take my hand back but he wouldn't let me.

"Jake, what are you—"

I was instantly locked under his arms and pressed to his chest. Jake let himself fall backward, turning so that I'd hit the water the same time he did. I opened my mouth to protest but it was flooded with salt water instead. Once he was satisfied that I was as soaked as he was, he let me go. By that time, I was enjoying myself too much to be angry.

We splashed around long enough to not feel our hands and toes any more. It wasn't until Jake insisted that I warm myself up that I even thought about the celebration that we were supposed to be a part of. Eventually, we shuffled back into the group and took seats around the bonfire.

"I'm going to try to find a towel," Jake offered before fading away into the party. Taking a deep, staggered breath, I leaned in closer to the fire. I knew that none of my clothes could possibly dry in this kind of weather but it was better than nothing. Once again I could feel more eyes on me, particularly stares of the other people around the fire. They looked suspicious and disapproving but didn't bother to say a word. I shifted my weight around where I sat, wishing they'd start up their own conversations again or at least stop staring. Eventually, I gave a nervous smile.

"He started it."

Jake and I ended up leaving the party early in an effort to get out of the cold. I wished Seth a final happy birthday but decided against adding a hug to it. I doubted he had any desire to be doused in chilled salt water. Instead I raised my hand to his cheek. _Sorry we ruined your birthday_. I used the term "we" loosely, referring to all the vampires as a whole. Seth immediately gave me a look that demanded I take the statement back.

"Whoever it was, they certainly had nothing to do with _you_," he offered sympathetically. I rolled my eyes. _I'll make it up to you_ I corrected myself. He smiled, liking this better. And with that, we were off.

Before we arrived at the house, we hatched a plan to sneak to the cabin and avoid the house all together. I had absolutely no desire to face Rose like this, or Alice, for that matter. My father would be aware the second we got within a few miles of the house, but if we were lucky he wouldn't reveal us. It was late and I was cold and tired. The only thing I wanted to do was take a shower and crawl back into bed. We took the long way around, racing through the surrounding forests to avoid getting caught. As invigorating as it was to sneak around, I knew that hiding something from my family was nothing short of impossible. The best I could do was make believe I could keep secrets for the fun of it.

I could smell the smoke from the chimney long before we arrived to the cottage. Fortunately, once we were outside, I was able to conclude that no one was in there but had instead left the fire roaring for my return. I grimaced. Maybe they knew what I was up to all along.

"What are you waiting for?" said Jake hastily as he motioned me inside. "Get in there before Blondie tries to make something of it."

"Okay, okay," I groaned. I took a step forward simply to calm him down. "Thanks for taking me. That was fun."

"Wouldn't have been fun without you," he smiled. I embraced him as if to solidify my thanks and he willingly returned it. When I looked up to meet his eyes, I noticed a different hint to his smile like there was a unique feeling behind it. It sparked something inside me and I had to take a deep breath to hide the fact that it caught me by surprise. I stared into those dark brown eyes, searching for an answer. I knew him better than I knew myself but yet this stirred me around like nothing else.

I gulped, but the motion felt—and sounded—more difficult than it'd been before. My already rapid heartbeat sped up the tiniest bit and I felt a sudden desire to look away or mindlessly twiddle my fingers. Even still, it was impossible to break his glance. He was my brother, my guardian, my life and yet it felt like there was still more.

The moment must have lasted longer than I realized and Jake gave me a confused look, unable to read my expressions.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice almost teasing. Finally, I looked away. His words seemed to snap me out of my trance and pull me back into reality.

"You smell like wet dog," I said, an immediate and effective change of subject. He rolled his eyes.

"Get inside before you lose a finger or something." This time he did me the favor of opening the door and pushing me through the doorway. I almost went along with it and nearly let myself be moved away in my blind train of thought before I abruptly dug my rubber heel into the floor and stopped. I turned my head over my shoulder to catch his eyes once more.

"Jake…" I began, searching for the right words. "You're my brother, right?" His expression briefly phased over a sarcastic question before he tucked it away to sincerely answer my concern.

"Not technically, no," he chuckled, but his laugh faded when he realized that I was trying to be serious. With one giant arm arched over the doorway, he leaned forward so that our eyes were at the same level. I could feel the heat from his face brush past my skin and I thought about pulling him closer.

"I am whatever you need me to be," he spoke the words like poetry. It was as though the line had been written in stone inside him and flowed from his mouth like they were true to his core. The words were almost mesmerizing, lulling me into a blanket of warmth. "I am a brother, a friend, a guard dog even, whatever you need."

Jacob paused for a brief moment to let the words settle before leaning in the last couple of inches to kiss my forehead.

"Now get inside," he smiled. "I mean it this time." I heaved a deep breath. I felt like I was starting to figure this out and he snatched the moment away. Just like that, he was back to normal and left me with nothing more than a faint idea.

Finally, I waved him goodbye and stepped all the way inside. I could hear his gentle footsteps in the ground fade away. Each step seemed to take something else with it, something that I couldn't identify. It felt colder but not just because he was taking his warmth away. It felt lonelier but not because I was the only one standing there. I took another deep breath but there was no relief from the action. With a grumbled dissatisfaction, I shook the thoughts away. I had nothing more than an overactive imagination.

Yay, another long chapter. : I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

P.S. Leave reviews. 3 They make me happy. lolkthanksbye


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Following the Scent

THE PHONE RANG seven times before anyone answered.

"Hello?" cam Jake's voice through the speaker. He sounded groggy and dense with sleep. I knew I was going to wake him up by calling this early, but I wasn't sorry. This had to be done.

"Jake, I need a favor." Normally, a natural response to someone who calls at 8 a.m. and wakes you up to ask for a favor isn't positive, but he had a soft spot for me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't take advantage of it from time to time.

"What do you need?" he asked almost instantly. There was almost excitement in his voice.

"I've sort of been grounded," I told him, but continued before he had a chance to ask. "Because of Alice's vision, they don't want me to leave the house."

"Well that's good. I don't want you to get hurt, either." Suddenly he sounded like my parents and the conversation took a turn for the worst. I'd have to turn it around to get this favor.

"It was Rose's idea. She doesn't want me to leave her sight," I added quickly. Jake's tone changed immediately as I heard him say something about my aunt under his breath.

"All I want to do is go out to Port Angeles and prove this weird theory wrong. We'll just sniff out the place, if a vampire was there, his scent should still be there."

"I don't know, Nessie…" he said warily.

"It's broad daylight. If a vampire was there, he _can't_ come out. It'll be fine; I just need you there with me. If I'm safe with anyone right now, it's you," I persuaded. There was a heavy sigh on the other end.

"I've been cooped up here all day. _Please_?" I begged, going as far as to add the puppy-dog face. I knew he'd hear it in my voice.

"Fine, fine," he sighed reluctantly. "Is Edward there?"

"No, he went out to hunt. That's why I called, you need to hurry." He knew as well as I did that if my dad was there, he'd know Jake's thoughts instantly and it'll all be over.

"'Kay, I'm on my way."

I persuaded Aunt Alice and Rose—my designated babysitters—that Jake was just taking me to La Push to spend time with him and Seth. My caretakers were naturally wary, but when Jake told them that he'd protect me, Alice and Rose seemed to take that without question. I didn't press it; anything that would get me out was good enough.

We took the motorcycle, but mostly just for speed. Jake wove in and out of traffic like an expert and got us there in half the time. I had half-hoped it would have taken us longer. Port Angeles was sunny and busy as always, even at that hour. We parked in the middle of downtown and immediately jumped off. Being back in a city was a little exhilarating. We decided to scale the city in a pattern, starting from the south and working our way upwind. The plan was well thought-out, and it was a shame it never got put to use.

I stopped dead in my tracks so abruptly that anyone behind would have toppled over me. Fortunately Jake was paying enough attention to stop just inches behind me. We both turned to stone, going as far as holding our breath to keep from stirring the air. The scent was unmistakable and so potent that it nearly bit my nose. Only my eyes moved, darting around rapidly to find the source of the smell.

Crowds of people shuffled past us, busy going about their day and completely oblivious. If the scent wasn't so strong, I would have lost it in the midst of all the people around us. I didn't have to think twice about it, I knew exactly what it was. The scent wasn't someone I'd met before, but it was definitely growing stronger. It was far too strong to be leftover from a previous visit.

"Jake?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, I know." His voice was stern and low, almost a growl. I could feel him lean forward and tense into a ready position. His left hand wove subtly around my waist, taking a protective hold. The warmth from his palm battled the chill that ran down my spine.

"What's the bloodsucker doing out here in the middle of day?" Jake hissed through his teeth. Any vampire would be absolutely glowing at this time of day and yet we still couldn't find him. It was making me horribly uneasy. We stood there in the middle of the sidewalk for another moment, forcing the waves of people to move around us. They clattered around with loud footsteps and obnoxious cell phone conversations. Even if it were possible to hear the vampire, the sound would have been drowned out. There was nothing but the scent to clue us in on this vampire's existence.

"We need to get out of here _now_," Jake said, his voice even lower than before. "Damn it, this was a horrible idea."

"All these people could be in danger," I told him, the panic evident in my voice. Jake's grip grew tighter around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

"You understand just as well as I do that our lives are at risk," he said harshly. "Now let's go." This time he was much more assertive and literally forced me in his direction, pulling me back the way we came. I vigorously yanked myself from his grasp and immediately stepped back.

"Listen to me!" I hissed back at him. We were starting to attract a crowd and a few people stopped to watch the scene unfold. I dropped my voice to a decimal I knew only he could hear. "Alice said so herself; the presence was 'new'. New like _newborn_. It could kill everyone here without thinking about it. We have to stop it." Jake's face fell sullen and his eyes were so cold they nearly looked black. His jaw tightened and his shoulders were tense. I'd seen Jake like this once before, but never directed at me. A wave of emotion hit me and I shuddered to realize it was pure fear.

"Then get out of here and I'll fight it off," he said through clenched teeth. I held my position and returned his cold gaze. By now I could feel at least a dozen eyes on us. They had almost created a ring around us, watching carefully. There were whispers of a fight. Half of the crowd worried that my life was in danger if we broke into a fight. The other half worried the same about Jake.

"You can't take it alone. You've never dealt with a newborn before."

"And you have?" he scoffed.

"I'm not leaving." I said each word slowly and with a strong emphasis. Everything from my rigid stance to my harsh tone said that I wasn't leaving without fight. It was at that instant that his face softened.

"I can't…" he whispered to me. "I can't lose you. Get out of here before you get hurt." I could feel myself go soft after those words. When it came to putting my desire to keep Jake safe against his desiring the same for me, I couldn't decide to keep fighting or give in. No matter who won, we both did. I sighed, letting my guard down as I surrendered.

"Jake, I—"

Something with the force of a freight train rammed into my side and launched me into the street. The action was so fast that even I couldn't understand what happened as I skidded along the pavement. I was sliding so furiously that the ground nearly burned holes into my jeans. I could hear cars swerve around me and horns echo past my ears but I was still in too much shock from the impact to react. We must have been near a street light because I eventually slammed into a stopped car, denting the driver's door. Somewhere over the chaos in the street I could hear Jake's voice yell after me, but the words turned to screams.

Blinking my eyes open, I tried to refocus my vision. My head was throbbing, letting me relive the pain of the impact with every pulse. I groaned audibly, but it sounded more like a dry scream. I was starting to recover from the whiplash and regained feeling from my neck down which resulted in another loud moan. The fuzzy shapes before me congealed into a real image and I could make out a dark silhouette in front of me. My thoughts immediately flooded to Jake but as the edges defined themselves, I realized it was someone else.

Crimson eyes stared sharply into mine like fire and complimented the sparkling white fangs just a few inches below. He was pale like snow except for the black rings that hung under his eyes. The messy, thick locks of black hair that hung over his brow only made his skin whiter and the rings darker. He glowed like a giant shimmering light, pulling every eye around to us. The man was crouched, hovering over my mangled mess of a body.

In an immediate, knee-jerk response, I picked up my fist and threw it at him blindly. Like was I nothing more than a child, he caught my wrist and crushed it under his fingers. A scream welled up in my throat but I swallowed it down. Before I could even think of it, he grabbed my other hand with the same inhuman strength and pressed both arms to the car behind me. His iron fingers dug into the car's exterior, creating a solid cage for my hands.

With every ounce of strength I had, I pushed against him. It was the force that I held secretly locked away; a power I kept in reserves. With a grunt of a battle cry, I threw everything I had at him to propel the creature away.

He didn't even notice. Instead, the vampire grinned and licked his lips.

"You," he spoke with a raspy, gravelly voice "smell delicious." Without hesitating, he leaned over the last few inches and pressed his icy lips to my neck. A rain of shudders danced down my back. I should have been used to the cold touch, but his seemed frigid enough to freeze me solid. My extraordinarily fast heartbeat grew faster and echoed in my own ears. It was the last beckoning he needed.

The fangs felt like razors that shot into my neck. The sound from the piercing of my stone skin sounded almost like a deafening snap. The scream that had been welling up in my throat burst out and I didn't try to stop it. Slowly, I could feel the reverse of blood flow as he drew it out of me. The instant the taste reached his lips, his speed picked up drastically. I screamed again.

My vision blurred and my head spun in response. After merely a couple seconds, a sleepy trance took me. Even as half a vampire, rapid blood lost still lead to death. My body fell limp. I could count down the loss of feeling—first my arms, then my legs and then my entire body. My vision was slowly eaten by darkness as I fell out of consciousness. All I could feel was the sting in my neck.

It all happened so fast. I was losing my life in a matter of seconds.

Something that resembled a growling howl flashed past me, taking the oppressive force with it. The razors were yanked from my neck and if I had the ability, I would have winced from the pain. With nothing holding me up, I collapsed back onto the pavement. I couldn't understand what was happening around me. Everything was a faded blur. I focused all that was left of my energy on breathing. All I wanted to do was breathe, but I hardly could.

From someplace nearby, a loud thud echoed, followed by growls and hisses. I tried to expand my energy to breathing and hearing. There was shuffling and more threatening growls. _Jake _I thought over and over again. _He's out there_ I had to stop a second to think about breathing. _He needs me._

Louder than anything before, a "crack" shot through the air. I knew the devastating sound. There was no mistaking the sound of broken bone, and not vampire bone.

Like a mother with a child in danger, I surge of power rushed through me. I flexed the muscles I couldn't feel, using every bit of that newfound power. The horrible sound repeated in my feeble head, constantly motivating me. It didn't matter what I did or how I did it. It didn't matter how much pain it put me through. I had to get to Jake.

A similar sound shot through the air again, only slightly different. It was immediately followed by an ear-piercing howl.

I don't know what happened and I have no way of explaining it. Through some miracle, I found the strength to stand and run. I could see Jake ahead of me, lying motionlessly on the ground. The vampire was crouched over him, hovering like a vulture. Blood dripped from his mouth but he gave a disgusted face. I could feel my insides ignite with furor. Something came over me, replacing all my senses and thoughts with a mad frenzy of emotions all centered on the one who hurt Jake. I threw myself at him with every bit of power left in me. The newborn skidded against the tar under my weight, tearing his shirt up along the way. I forcibly dug his head into the action and refused to let up. At that moment, there was nothing I wanted more than to cause this thing pain.

When we finally dragged to a stop, I immediately pressed my fangs to his neck and tore the skin. My body desperately longed for blood to follow the action and in my state, it was nearly unbearable. Instead, I pierced holes into the cement skin over and over, biting and ripping all I could. I was horrified with my own actions but there was no rational thought to stop myself. Some unknown force took control and I willingly gave it over.

The newborn finally threw me off, shoving me into a nearby street light. I could feel the cold metal bend behind me. While I listened to him stand and shake himself off, I sat perfectly still and regained what strength I had left. Slowly, he stepped closer. The second he was in range I leapt to my feet and threw my fist into the man's jaw. Bones cracked, but it didn't stop me. When he feebly reached out to return the hit, I grabbed the newborn by his arm and pelted him back into the ground.

"Get out of here," I hissed, using what really were the last ounces of energy. He didn't respond and instead just glared up at me. This time I broke the other half of his jaw with the top of my foot. "Now." I could feel the words leak past my lips, but they didn't feel like my own. My voice was low and threatening, making sounds I didn't know I was capable of. The newborn stood and challenged me with his eyes once more as he contemplated fighting me again. I hissed in response. Reluctantly, he turned on his heel and left, dashing into the streets and vanishing.

Instantly my attention was back on Jake. In a heartbeat, I was kneeling at his side. Everyone else was backed away, ironically afraid of the wolf more than they were of the newborn vampire. I looked Jake over, filling in all the gaps of the fight that I had missed myself. His shoulder and his collar bone looked broken, with bones sticking out in awkward places. More prominent than that was the wound on his neck. I could see two holes through the fur and I didn't have to think twice about what it was. Fear rushed over me like a wave. Venom was poisonous to Jake and death was certain. I immediately listened for a heartbeat. There was nothing. In disbelieve I pressed my head to his chest, closed my eyes and listened once more. I nearly died from relief when I heard the soft, fading pound of his heart.

I had to get the venom out of him. There had to be something, anything to keep that heart beating. I placed my mouth to wound and tried to draw out the infected blood. The venom taste was thick and vile but I kept going. A part of me was disgusted that I had to do this but another part of me longed for it. I'd never been so thirsty in my life and, at this point, anything would have been enough. After what felt like an eternity, I could taste the purity of his blood. Even with the venom gone, his heart was still struggling. He was dying.

"Jake," I whispered to him. Tears flooded from my eyes. "Jake, talk to me, please. Say something." He was still perfectly motionless, taking breaths so small that there was almost no movement. I strung my fingers through his fur as though I could willingly bring him back to life. I had to get him to Carlisle. If anyone could save him, it was my grandfather. It wasn't until then that I paid attention to the watchful crowd around us.

A mass of wide eyes stared at me, gaping. I self-consciously wiped the blood from my mouth. At that instant I could hear the sounds of sirens approaching. From what I could tell, it sounded like two ambulances and at least three police cars. From the other direction of the road, there were more tires burning rubber against the pavement. I looked up to see large vans with satellites nailed to the top and gaudy, advertising letters on the side. The idea of a news crew made my heart skip a beat.

I dragged myself up and attempted to stand. The motion made my head wobble, but not nearly as bad as before. As awful as it was, I was barely surviving off of Jake's blood. With one great heave, I lifted the wolf off the ground. His weight was crushing and I nearly had to hold him above my head to keep from dragging him. My knees threatened to buckle and my arms shook from the tension. It was hard to find the energy to stand, let alone carry a massive animal. When I made to leave, people parted instantly to give me room. I think they were secretly afraid of making me angry. Without looking back, I ran. Each step was a struggle but I kept running, darting through streets to make it impossible for anyone to follow.

I didn't stop until I reached the national park near the city. When I felt we were far enough in to keep from being seen, I collapsed to the ground. Jake was still motionless and silent with nothing more than a faint heart beat.

"Jake," I gasped out to him. He still didn't reply. I felt like I was on the brink of passing out. I pushed my limits further than I ever thought possible and I was paying for it. I curled up next to him on the ground, longing for the warmth he used to have. I feebly pulled out my phone and sent eleven words. "About ten miles south of Port Angeles, Olympic Park. Help." The phone snapped shut and I leaned into Jake. I placed my hand to the side of his face, my fingers tangled in his fur. _Hold on, Jake. Please. Don't leave me. I love you._

My consciousness was fading and I could feel myself drifting. Tears were still streaming from my eyes against my will. I lost the effort to try and hold them back. My eyelids turned to lead and I slowly fell asleep with my hand pressed to Jake's cheek. I lost control of my thoughts but I could only pray he was alive enough to hear them.


	5. Chapter 5

I know some of you are probably upset right now because my writing wasn't consistent with Meyer's. You didn't give me a chance to explain myself in the next chapter. Haha, so hang tight, kay? I'll get there.

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Chapter 5

Guilt

THE FIRST THING I saw when I opened my eyes was my mother. Her stare was glued to me at an intensity that was almost frightening. Her expression was only more severe once she caught my eyes. Instantly I looked around to try to locate where we were. The white furniture and background was all too familiar. I could see Aunt Rose standing close by, eagerly awaiting my revival as well.

"Nessie," my mother gasped out as she fervently embraced me. I winced only slightly from the extreme force—I was still a little weak. Dark rings hung under her eyes but not from hunger. My mother looked as though she had worried herself sick. I wrapped my arms around her, happy to see her, too, but with someone else I was more anxious about.

_Where's Jake? _I asked, my hand on her neck. The delay in her answer sent a panic through me.

"With Carlisle," she answered softly. Her tone confirmed that he was at least alive but not doing well. Within the second, I leapt from her arms and our spot on the couch and bounded down the hallway. My balance was still a little off, but I could feel myself recovering. It was a guilty feeling to realize that all I needed was a little rest while Jake needed so much more. As I ran I listened for the rapid heartbeat I knew so well but still couldn't find it. It had always been so loud and so easy to follow, but now I couldn't hear anything. I probably never would have found him if it weren't for the tiny sound of a dripping catheter.

I found them in the designated hospital-away-from-the-hospital room upstairs. Carlisle was busy working around the room, checking catheters and machines. Leah was seated near the middle of the room, her arm hooked to a plastic bag through a needle. She was right beside a bed unit, which took all my attention. Jake was awkwardly laid out on two hospital beds pushed together. His massive wolf form was too big and too heavy for just one. His forearm was wrapped with gauze with a single tube sticking out of the bandage. His chest rose and fell so subtly that he almost didn't move at all. I could hear the weak breaths just over the even weaker heartbeat.

"Renesmee," Carlisle said as he finished what he was doing to embrace me. "How do you feel?"

_Fine _I answered briskly, completely uninterested in what had happened to me. _What about Jake? How is he?_ I kept both hands at his neck, refusing to voice anything. This was much quicker. I could feel Leah's cold stare on the back of my neck and my heart sank a little. It was definitely not a good sign.

"This is his second blood transfusion," Carlisle explained. His eyes didn't leave mine. "We're lucky Leah's the same blood type and that her body heals fast enough to donate two units." I instantly wanted to thank her but then remembered that angry stare.

_What about the venom?_ I urged him. As Carlisle thought about his answer, I could see his face flood with worry.

"It has compromised his immune system." As he spoke, my eyes were glued to Jake. "We've replaced most of the blood, but his healing process has been significantly slowed. His condition is stable, at least." My expression was a visual of the phrase "_…and_?"

"He won't get worse," he offered. "But I don't know if he'll be able to recover."

The words almost didn't seem real. It took me a moment to repeat them in my head and pull out a real meaning. My heart skipped a beat and the world stopped spinning. A wave of sheer pain rocketed through me, dwelling in my chest. My heart grew heavy and my knees were no longer able to hold my own weight. I leaned to a nearby wall for support but Carlisle caught me halfway. The world was spinning around me and my eyes couldn't focus quickly enough to catch up. Before I could think to hold it back, tears welled up in my eyes. An uncomfortable bubble formed in my throat before I allowed myself to weep.

_Jake._

Carlisle took me tight into his arms, supporting all my weight. His strong arms held me close to him, offering as much comfort and consolation as he could possibly give. It was immensely comforting to be in my grandfather's arms—or any of my family, for that matter—but the guilt that hung over my head snatched every bit of that comfort away. The events of the day were on an uncontrollable replay in my mind. Each image was more vivid than the last, each sound twice as deafening. The part that hurt almost as much as watching Jake's life being sapped from him was the memory of my pleading him to go out in the first place.

"Nessie," Carlisle whispered to me. "Listen to me. You did all you could. If you hadn't been there to help, he might not be with us now. Don't blame this on your—"

"Myself?" I finished for him. I pushed myself back a step so that I could look Carlisle in the eyes. I was powered by anger now, a deep-rooted self hatred burning inside me. "You want to tell me not to blame myself? _I'm _the one who called. _I'm _the one who dragged Jake out there when he told me it was a bad idea. _I'm _the one the newborn attacked first. _I _was the one he wanted. Jake was the one who threw himself into harm's way to save _my _life. If he didn't have _me _to worry about, if he didn't have _me _to protect, he would have killed the thing instantly. All this and you want to tell me not to blame _my own fucking self_?"

I was breathing so hard that, for a moment, I thought I would pass out. My hands were clenched so tightly that my knuckles turned a ghostly white, as though the bone was threatening to break the skin. My face was flushed with heat as a direct result from the pure anger. Carlisle was so taken aback that he stood there, silent and calm. I caught Leah's glance which suddenly didn't seem so threatening anymore. How could anyone, even Leah, possibly hate me more than I did? Her features softened with the relief of telling me what she wanted without having to say the words herself.

As much as I wanted to be there at Jake's side, I suddenly couldn't stand to face the guilt anymore and felt compelled to leave the scene I've just created. I turned to leave, going at a pace that was much faster than really necessary. Neither Leah nor Carlisle tried to stop me.

I knew that everyone in the house would have heard my outburst and that it would have pushed them all away from trying to give me some sort of solace. Even if I wanted it, I wouldn't deserve it. I ran to the cottage—the only place I could think to go. I found it empty and wondered if my parents had specifically arranged that for me. The little things I used to notice every time I walked in suddenly didn't exist. The smell, the warmth of the fire, the air—all of it was gone. There was only one thing I could think about and nothing else seemed to matter.

I don't know how much time I spent curled up on my bed, wallowing in self hatred. I knew it was a childish reaction but I couldn't think of a better way to handle it all. Impulse guided my actions and I willingly handed over the reins. By the time my father walked in, I'd made it through the first three steps of accepting death and made it to depression. At least this stage was quiet.

"Renesmee," my father said just loud enough for me to hear. This made me grit my teeth. He used my full name as though my nickname wasn't serious enough for this kind of situation. I knew he was standing in the doorway, but I didn't bother to turn or even acknowledge this presence. Out of all the people I could have seen, my father was the last on my list. It's not that I didn't love him or want his company. He could have read my mind against my will and I didn't want anyone to be privy to my thoughts but me.

He compensated for my lack of effort and approached me, taking a seat beside me on the bed. In my head, I thought over how much I didn't want to talk. I could hear my father sigh after hearing the thoughts, too. My back was to him, which was a good thing. I'm not sure I could have controlled the urge to scowl at him if we had been facing one another. Still, he didn't leave.

A moment or so passed and he reached out to place a hand on my shoulder. He didn't try to pull me to face him or rub my arm in a meager attempt to comfort me. He just sat there, his cold hand resting lightly on my heated skin. It was at that exact moment that the atmosphere of the room changed.

I made my bedroom air stale and thick with anger and depression. I intentionally made it as offensive and unwelcoming as possible, warding off anyone who dared get close. My father's presence only encouraged me to put more effort into the action. But at that point, it was miraculously different. He wasn't consoling or lecturing like a normal parent's reaction. He was empathetic.

In that single motion, he showed me the same mixture of guilt and hatred I saw in myself. I couldn't explain it better than that. I was never good at silent conversation, but this one moment was an exception to it all. _I know what you're feeling _he seemed to say. _I'm so sorry you have to know what it's like._

I sat up, resting my weight on my elbows so that I could look over and meet his eyes. The expression on his face was new to me—I never would have expected it from my father. It was the look of absolute anguish. His was so sincere that it nearly put my depression to shame. He brought his hand to my face, cupping my cheek in his palm. The world stopped again and everything was more silent than I ever thought possible.

My father can't cry. He's physically incapable, just like the rest of my family. Aunt Alice once told me that vampires have their own way of crying. I knew there had been crying in my earliest months of life, but I could hardly remember it. I asked what Alice it was like. She thought for a moment, bit her lip and thought again.

"It's hard to explain," she said finally. "Let's hope you never have to know."

That moment, sitting beside my father, I learned how vampires cry.

I knew the stories from before my parents were married, from the moment they met to my own birth. Normal children would find these kinds of things awkward but I soaked up the stories like a sponge. I could vividly recall the one about the hunter and the first time my mother was bitten. I knew my father loved my mother and I knew how much it hurt him, too, when she was hurt. I knew that this part of his life still pained him and the regret was still apparent. What I didn't know was that it hurt him twice as much to see the same happen to his daughter.

I'd never known my father to be vulnerable. Even if my mother and I were his soft spots, he protected us so entirely that we could never make him weak. He was a constant in my life; always strong, always protecting. It was at that moment I was reminded how of human he had once been and still was.

"Daddy," I whimpered as I fell into his arms. He cradled me, holding me tighter than he ever had before. I sobbed into his chest, staining his shirt. We sat there for a while, dwelling in a pain that only we knew. It was a release that I needed more than anything in the world and I had the feeling he might have needed it, too.

_How do you make it better?_ I asked, the tips of my fingers touching the base of his neck. I waited as he thought the question over and hoped for an answer that I could actually do. Eventually he leaned back to meet my eyes again.

"Jake loves you," he told me. His use of the word seemed to imply more than I was used to. "He's already forgiven you. All you can do is love him back." His answer makes me eyes tear up again but not because of guilt. The feeling of being loved so purely and entirely is different and the only way I could think to react was cry.

After another long moment, my father sat up straight and inhaled deeply. I subconsciously did the same.

"Now there's a lot we all need to discuss," he began. By "all," I knew he meant our entire family. "I need you to be strong for me." I thought it over and nodded in response. He leaned forward, kissed the top of my head and then stood.

"Alright, let's go."

When we get back to the house, everyone is sitting around the living room, their eyes glued to the television. The volume is instantly muted when we walk through the front door. It made me impossibly curious but my attention is diverted by an onslaught of Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Esme who haven't seen me since I woke up. I'm greeted with a serious of very strong hugs and kisses. It pained me that they're all too happy to see me alive to be angry with me like they should be. My mother embraces me once more as though it's been years between. I don't find Carlisle in the room but I know better than to ask where he is. When they're all sure I'm okay, I'm able to ask why they're watching the television so closely. There's a silence before my father pulls me across the room to face the screen that's been put on pause.

"There's something you need to see," he explained to me. Emmett starts the video and we all fall silent.

A woman with too much makeup appeared on the screen, sitting behind a news desk. She started mid-sentence as we've paused her in the middle of the story.

"…story today of a street brawl on the streets of Port Angeles, leaving people to question not only their safety but the existence of once fairy-tale beings," the woman explained. Beside her head, a small square appears and shows a snapshot of this morning. A blurry, giant wolf was in the center of the frame with a crowd of appalled bystanders around him. It took a fraction of a second to identify Jake and another fraction to see my figure standing beside him.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I absolutely love hearing back from you. Reviews make my day! Oh, and I'll try to take it easy on the cliff hangers.

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Chapter Six

THE VIDEO had been taken by a camera phone. Someone in that crowd this morning was genius enough to whip out his phone and tape the whole thing. Actually, that's a lie—there were at least seven of those geniuses. I was able to watch it all over again from seven different angles. The quality was poor but unmistakable. I had subconsciously been hoping for the idea that the films could be credited to special effects but that notion was long gone. This was much too real to be shrugged off.

The video clicked in after I'd fist been attacked. A good 20 feet away from the camera, I could see the newborn crouched over beside a car. Sticking out just slightly to his right, I could see my side and part of my leg. The holes torn from skidding along the pavement left my leg bare. There were bright crimson patterns in my torn jeans that I'd never seen before. I narrowed my eyes in scrutiny and turned to look at myself to verify the color. My jeans were still stained but through the holes I could see a bandaged leg. Blinking in shock, I ran my fingers over the white fabric. Suddenly it began to throb, as though the recognition of the injury brought the recognition of the pain. I looked over the rest of my left side, taking notice to the other abrasions on my arm. Instantly, I regretted it. I didn't feel as well as I had a few minutes ago.

My attention was instantly snatched away by a blood-curdling scream from the television. I jerked my head and focused on the fuzzy pixel display. Whoever had been filming was daring enough to work his way around the crowd to get a better angle of the scene. He caught a profile view of the newborn and I as the vampire sunk his teeth into my neck. A shiver ran down my spine as I recalled the instant so much more vividly than the camera phone had. It was hard to believe that a scream like that had come out of me—it was enough to make anyone duck and cover their ears. A pang rocketed through me, lingering in my neck. I blindly placed the tips of my fingers back to the spot I'd been bitten. I could feel the two puncture wounds, still open and still hurting.

When I screamed for the second time on the screen, it didn't seem as loud as the first. I watched as the newborn drained what he needed from me. I could see myself fall limp beneath him as the color vanished from my face. The crowd around the novice camera man was gasping, screaming and even running away. The newborn kept at it for what felt like an eternity—much longer than I remembered it. I guess I passed out for most of it.

Then, out of nowhere, a mass of brown took over the screen, rushing past the newborn. When it cleared from the scene, the newborn was gone. All that was left was a severely dented car and myself, slumped over the pavement. Now that I was no longer of interested, the camera was jerked to another direction. More people screamed and the camera shook as people madly shuffled around.

An enormous wolf stood before the newborn with his teeth bared and his shoulders hunched into a threatening stance. The hair on his back stood on-end and every muscle in his body was tensed. He stood between the newborn and me, guarding. My eyes welled up at the sight of Jake. Thoughtfully, my father reached over and placed the same hand on my shoulder. With a deep breath, I mustered the courage to keep watching.

The newborn snarled and lunged towards me again, but Jake was too quick for him. He sunk his enormous teeth into the vampire's skin and tossed him back. The audience screamed again. The newborn was slammed into another car but immediately pushed himself back up. Jake snarled again. This time it was a warning.

Immediately, the vampire lunged but not at me. He attacked Jake, springing high into the air before slamming into Jake, who rolled out of the way at the last second. The vampire's fist was buried in pavement. Furious, he yanked his hand free and tossed the pieces of tar behind him into the crowd. There were more screams, but this time they were pained screams instead of frightened ones. Jake snarled once more and the vampire smirked. Without hesitating, the vampire reached for the nearest car—one that still had a driver inside—and shoved it toward the crowd. The vehicle skidded on its side, spinning uncontrollably towards the sidewalk.

Jake managed to shove himself in front of the car just before it impacted into the already hurt bystanders. I could see Jake tense in response to the harsh impact but still hold it in place. Once the crowd had backed away, he gently let the car fall back onto its wheels. Immediately, the driver dove out of the door and ran. Before Jake even had time to catch his breath again, the vampire was at him.

With one fluid motion, it took Jake by his back leg and yanked him backwards. The action was so forceful that Jake's leg was bent into an unnatural position. Jake yelped out, weakly howling into the air. The newborn pulled him back into the middle of street, letting him lay awkwardly on the torn pavement. He then fell on top of him, pinning the wolf between his stone body and the ground before he pressed those razor fangs into Jake's neck.

The howl that left Jake's mouth knocked the breath out of me. Never in my life had I heard something so devastating, so heart-wrenching.

I immediately turned away from the television and pressed my face into my father's chest to hide the sobs. He wrapped his arms around me, giving me strength I'd lost. I could hear every sound from the video behind me as I lunged at that newborn and punctured his skin with my own fangs. I listened as I hissed the threatening words, kicked him and then said it again. The moment should have been victorious but I'd never felt as much of a failure. My Dad rubbed my back, soothing me once again.

Finally the clip had stopped and the newscaster began talking again. I peaked at the screen from the corner of my eye to see that the clip had been paused on my face seconds before I wiped the blood from my lips. I grimaced. Everyone in the world would know my face—just like that—by the end of the day. The broadcast went on with testimonies from the audience, clips of the ones who had been hurt going to the hospital and analyzed replays of the battle. Emmett turned the volume down and everyone looked back to me.

I looked to my father, unable to speak. _I'm sorry _I said silently. _I'm so sorry._

"It's okay," he told me gently. "We're going to make this better." He took a seat on the couch and held a hand out for me to sit next to him. Almost immediately, I followed. Once I was situated, I took a deep breath and collected myself. Everyone waited for me patiently. Finally, it was my father who spoke first.

"Carlisle," he called out to no space in particular. "We all need to talk." I swallowed hard at the thought of this. I didn't want Jake to be left alone. If something were to happen, I wanted the best medical attention—my grandfather—to be there for him. If he woke up, I wanted someone to be there to tell him everything was okay. No more than five seconds later, Carlisle walked into the room alongside Leah. I winced internally but swallowed my pride. Whatever guilt and hatred Leah wanted to throw my way, I deserved.

"Our biggest concern right now is the Volturi," my father began calmly. "There's no doubt they've seen this and are planning a response."

"How soon will they get here?" Esme asked, turning to Alice. She had her eyes closed in pure concentration and her lips tilted into a frown. The room was silent for the longest moment before she spoke.

"It's fuzzy," she tried to explain to us. "Nessie and the Quileute's involvement must be huge. I think…I think we have four days." Aunt Alice's words made my heart skip a beat. Just four days?

"That can't be right," Carlisle said almost instantly. I nodded in agreement. "That's too much time. Why would they wait?" My heart skipped another beat and I began to wonder if I'd make it through the rest of the conversation.

"Well this is good, isn't it?" Emmett jumped in. "If they thought Nessie was a threat, they'd be here sooner."

"Something's delaying them, I can't tell what," Alice explained. Her eyes were squinted so tightly it looked painful. "They haven't decided the exact day to leave yet, there are lots of arguments."

"This is good, there's obviously disagreement about dealing with this. We'll use this to our advantage," Dad explained. I jerked my head in his direction.

"Advantage? What for?" I stumbled with the words. My father ignored me, too caught up in his thoughts.

"If they decide to act, we'll need to be ready," he continued. A lump started to form in my throat.

"Ready? We're going to fight?" I asked, my voice shaky.

"We'll talk to them; they'll have to listen to reason. Nessie and Jake were attacked, they didn't provoke this newborn. They did what they could to keep everyone safe," Carlisle offered.

"This is the law of secrecy. You really believe they'd change their rules?" my father retorted.

"Well they _should _have acted when the newborn killed those people days ago," Aunt Rose accused. "Nessie didn't reveal anything, anyway. The most anyone could get from that video is that she's strong. That's not unnatural."

"They saw the newborn lift a car. A natural human isn't stronger than that," Dad replied, sounding irritated.

"The only secret revealed was of the damn shape shifters," Rose spat. My entire body went stiff and I stopped breathing. Before I could even think to react, Leah did.

"How the hell can you say that?!" she shrieked at my Aunt. "If it weren't for Jake, the halfchild would be deader than you. And if it weren't for his damn imprinting he would have killed the bloodsucker without hesitating!"

The room fell silent again and the air was thick enough to hold. There were a few words worthy of lingering on in Leah's tirade, but only one that I couldn't stop thinking about.

_Imprinting?_

Everyone's eyes looked from Leah, to me, to my parents and then back to me. I met each and one of their gazes, trying to figure out what they knew and I didn't. Leah's face suddenly went pale and she looked away, placing a hand to the side of her face. I could hear her curse under her breath.

"Jake imprinted?" I asked finally. "I don't understand. With who?" I waited for an answer that never seemed to come. A secret had just been broken and no one wanted to step up and explain it.

"That's not what we need to discuss right now," my father finally intervened. "Alice, do you have any more on the Volturi?"

"No." I grabbed my father's arm, forcing his attention back on me. "Tell me what's going on." His eyes met mine and were suddenly so gentle. The golden color shifted in the light, the same way it had when we talked about Jake before in my room. My father then turned to my mother with a look that asked for help. Without hesitating, she stood and walked over to us, taking a seat on the coffee table across from me. She closed her eyes, thought about her words, and then met my gaze.

There was a small sinking feeling in my stomach. Not the kind of sinking you get when a catastrophic piece of information is revealed, but the kind of sinking you get just the moment before. It was the kind of sinking feeling where you know what's coming but hope to God isn't true; the kind of sinking where you know you can shake off once you know that what you're anticipating isn't true after all.

"Nessie," she began, addressing me to stall for time. "Jake wanted to be the one to eventually tell you this, and he didn't want it to be this soon." The sinking feeling grew. _No no no _I thought _the feeling can still be shaken off. Don't say it_.

"The instant Jake first met you, he imprinted with you," my mother explained. She reached up to place her hand over mine. I sank past the floor in a whirling mess of thoughts. It explained so much, but I wanted there to be another explanation. _I can't be the one. I'm nothing special so why me? Whoever Jake imprints with needs to be his soul mate, someone who's madly in love with him. Jake is my brother and my friend, but my lover? Can I see him that way? I love him. I love him so much, so purely, but I still don't know what kind of love that is. Can I see myself living the rest of my life with him? Maybe. I don't know. It's not like I can see anyone else in the position. But Jake? I don't know, I just don't know._

It wasn't until that point that I realized I'd been silent for a solid few minutes while everyone in the room was waiting for my response. All my thoughts were itching to leave my mouth but I somehow managed to replace them with a reasonable question.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked. My voice was so shaky and soft that I almost didn't recognize it. "Why did you keep it a secret from me?"

"We didn't try to keep any secrets from you," Mom was quick to protest. "Jake didn't want you to know. He wanted you to think of him as you wanted and not feel pressured by this. He was only thinking about you."

"By lying to me my entire life?"

"Sweetheart, Jake loves you." She scooted closer to me and talked softer as though it would make our conversation more private. "Whatever you need him to be, he will be. He said that if you needed family, he'd be your brother. If you needed protection, he'd be your guardian. He said that if for the rest of eternity you didn't need a lover, he'd be nothing more than your friend. This wasn't about what he wanted or needed, it was only about you."

I thought of Jake, laying almost lifelessly a few doors away. I thought of all the times he told me he loved me and all the times I told him I loved him back. I thought of everything he'd been suffered for me, all the pain I'd forced him through. I thought of the night he'd walked me back from Seth's birthday party and explained to me exactly what my mother had. I thought of the emptiness I felt as he walked away and wondered what it really was. I thought of my last conscious breaths after we'd been attacked. I told him I loved him and now I finally realized what I truly meant.

I'd never thought of it before but in the end, it all made sense. At that moment, I wished and wished that he was awake so I could tell him what I really meant all along.

"Are you alright?" my dad asked as he rubbed my back with his cool palm. I inhaled deeply.

"I think so," was my answer. No one spoke for a moment as though they were afraid to jump to a new subject too quickly. Awkwardly, I gulped and tried to start up the conversation again myself.

"So the Volturi want me dead?" I prompted. Out of all the ways to bring about conversation, that sentence may not have been the best choice.

"We don't know," my grandfather answered immediately. It was as though he wanted to toss that idea aside as quickly as possible. In all honesty, I wanted to, too.

"And we're going to fight them?" I asked even though I knew the answer.

"The nine of us alone can't fight all of them," Jasper pointed out. His words were a dagger in the side we were blatantly ignoring.

"What about the Quileute?" Esme offered. Everyone in the room turned to Leah in hopes of an answer. She glared at me and then exchanged glances with the rest of the family.

"It's what Jake would want," she sighed. "We'll fight. All of us." The reluctance in her voice to fight for me was obvious but there was a hint of something else—a subtle hint of desire. Naturally, she'd jump at any opportunity to hurt vampires. It was the sort of inherited hatred that I never thought I'd be glad to see.

"Still," Jasper sighed. It was obvious that the words hurt him, too. "It's not enough."

"Then we'll ask our friends for another favor," Dad said with confidence.

"In four days?" Aunt Rose questioned, nearly scoffed.

"What choice do we have?" my mother was the one to retort. I winced slightly—everyone had an increasingly angrier tone. If it were possible, the air was growing thicker.

"I'll call who I can," Carlisle offered.

"And what about those we can't? Zafrina and her clan?" Esme asked.

"We'll go find them, we know where to look this time," said my father.

"No," Alice was quick to stop him. "I can't be sure that the Volturi will take four days. If we split up and they were early…"

"Wait," Emmett called out in the middle of conversation. His eyes were glued to the television as his hand quickly moved about the remote. The volume was still muted for my sake, but he watched the fight over again, analyzing every move. "Did you see that? This guy wasn't any regular newborn. He knew how to fight."

Emmett played the section of the newborn tossing the car at the sidewalk and paused it before Jake jumped into the scene. "He strategized." Emmett's eyes never left the screen. "He analyzed Jake's behavior and used it to his advantage. He knew how to fight; he wasn't just blindly attacking. A newborn would have gone straight for the blood, but this son of bitch knew to disable his prey first; like pinning Nessie down and hurting Jake's legs."

"It was a newborn vampire," Alice said coldly. "I saw his eyes. And that strength—"

"I'm not saying he's old," Emmett interrupted her. "There's no doubt he's a newborn. I'm just saying that he's either another Bella or someone helped him out."

A few people spoke at once this time and I could feel myself drifting out of the conversation. The world still hadn't stopped spinning from before and this was making it even more difficult to keep up. It was all happening because of me and I should have been doing any and everything to help out but I couldn't even find words to contribute. I let my mind wander, focusing on things that I knew wouldn't argue back. I took a sudden interest in the sounds outside the house—the wind, the running water in the distance and the sounds of cars rolling down the road.

The last sound in particular caught my interest. I subconsciously tilted my head to the side as I listened closely, identifying the sound. While trying to block out the heated conversation behind me, I could hear a single car with tires rolling against the pavement. It grew louder and I realized it was pulling up our driveway. The sound was familiar and I knew I'd heard the car before. The engine was cut off and there was shuffling as someone hurried out of the door. This sound was more than familiar.

"Grandpa Charlie?" I said aloud. Suddenly everyone behind me fell silent. Someone cursed and I wouldn't realize until later that it was my father.

"It's bad," he explained. We all turned to him anxiously, urging him to continue. "His unit has been put on watch for the newborn, Jake and Nessie. Apparently, nearly every station in Washington is supposed to arrest any of them on sight. Something about the hurt crowd pressing charges and destruction of public property. Not to mention that everyone in the nation wants an interview."

"He wouldn't…" my mother stated, trying to hide the question in her voice.

"He doesn't know what he'll do at this point. Right now, he wants answers, and then he'll decide," Dad broadcasted my grandfather's thoughts. By this point, the topic of our conversation burst through the front doors.

He had his uniform on with his gun in uncomfortably easy reach. His collar was a slight tint darker than the rest of his tan shirt—he had sweat through it even in this cold weather. His face was pink, nearly red, with beads of sweat falling from his forehead. The expression he carried was a mix of anger, worry and horror. His lips were pursed together tightly and his brow was pressed so tightly it held the chance of wrinkling permanently.

He stood in the doorway in a uniform stance, taking deep breaths as he thought over his actions. He looked directly to me for an impossibly long moment.

"Nessie," he spoke softly. "Thank God you're alright." Almost instantly, I ran to him and into his embrace. He held me nearly as tightly as my mother had—which was an impressive feat. He smelled of coffee and very slightly of smoke. It was the classic scent of his station. There was an odd sound that leaked from his throat. Quickly, he swallowed the sob away. I hugged him tighter.

"I've never been so scared in my life," he whispered to me. I hugged him silently, knowing there was not a single thing I could say that would make him feel better. Finally he let go and I stepped back to meet his eyes again. For a fraction of a second, I could see his lips tilt into a smile from relief.

"Where's Jake?" he asked, looking past me at the faces around the room. No one spoke for a moment as we healed from his reminder of our friend's condition.

"He's not doing well," my father explained. Charlie's face went pale again. I gulped audibly.

"Charlie, you should sit down." Dad was very calm and serious and looked as though he had everything under control. Even when we knew it wasn't true, he had to look that way for my grandfather. He had to look that way for me.

"There's something you need to know."

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Okay okay, so that was a bit of a cliffhanger. Sorry! Stay tuned. : )


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